


Coming Home

by jiababue



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, I don't usually many things pertaining to the story asdfjkl, M/M, SORRY I DIDN"T TAG BEFORE, coming home, like the song, literally the whole concept is based off of coming home LOL, that jinyoung wrote, yes - Freeform, yes this is NOT a fluffy 5+1 story this is just a sad 5 story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:14:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25023013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiababue/pseuds/jiababue
Summary: Five times the crack on the wall of their dormitory grew
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 11
Kudos: 27





	Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so recently Jinyoung said he wrote Coming Home because he thought of JJP right? and I just had to.... also this is my first time writing something with real people?? SO please understand I just like them together but in no way does this reflect them or that I expect them to be together for real LOL 
> 
> I also wrote this at 4am so pls excuse any errors and yes I did listen to Verse 2 while writing this this was also supposed to be 1000 words only and then they ran off. so now it's almost 3k LOL
> 
> 別上升蒸煮啊 這樣我以後怎麼在他們的演唱會裡抬起頭啊233333

“I came back,” Jinyoung spoke softly. “You know, there were times that I thought I wouldn’t come back.” He looked into Jaebeom’s reflective eyes. “Funny, isn’t it? Since we always thought we would last forever.” 

He turned away from his former teammate, friend, partner, the one who he thought he could always lean on. Tracing his finger along the cracks on the wall, the corner of his mouth tugged into a bittersweet smile.

He still remembers how the crack came to be and why that ugly black sprawl across the clean white wall was still there, even after so many years. The day that their manager announced their confirmed debut, Jinyoung remembered Jaebeom being so excited and shocked that his nokia flew out of his hand and the tiniest of crack appeared. They had laughed about it afterwards, basking in the joy of the debut, that the nokia was stronger than steel. Back then, it was just a little crack, so small and thin you should’ve thought it was a stray hair. But it was also the first time, Jaebeom and Jinyoung became JB and Junior, no longer the kids that they should be at the age but artists with responsibilities and expectations heavy on their still growing shoulders. 

Jinyoung also remembers when the neighbor from downstairs furiously knocked on their door before storming inside their dorms and yelling at them, because they wouldn’t stop practicing their dance routine, even in their small and cramped dorms because they heard rumors of a canceled comeback. To emphasize her words, she waved her cane around in the air, until it struck the wall with a loud thump. Everyone became silent until their manager walked out of the bathroom, who apologized to the neighbor before escorting her out, but not before a pitiful look at the pair. The despair in their heart grew and so did the crack on their wall. 

He remembers the hug that Jaebeom pulled him in; it was sure and confident. 

“I won’t let us fail,” He said in the most encouraging voice that a 19 year old boy could muster. 

Jinyoung, with his ears pressed to Jaebeom’s chest, listened to his erratic heartbeat as he tried to convince even himself. But despite the uncertainty, there was nowhere that Jinyoung felt more secure than right there, in Jaebeom’s arms. 

The next time the crack grew was because of the addition of the four new members, or more specifically, Yugyeom. Of course, Jaebeom and Jinyoung were elated when they heard they would be getting a second chance. Not many people get a second shot at their dream, especially in this cruel industry. The day after their debut as seven, they were celebrating in their dorms and Jaebeom had bought food for everyone, instantly putting everyone into a good mood. Everyone was still riding off of the adrenaline high of being on stage and naturally, the living room was filled with loud sounds of the boys’ voices. Jinyoung was sitting on the very edge of the couch, fighting for room with the other six boys while shoving pizza into his face when he heard the loud crack followed by the carefree laugh that he had heard for the past five years. When he looked up, he saw Jaebeom’s new maknae sitting, in pain, on the floor while holding his head. He had fallen off the couch while fighting Bambam for the soda and banged his head on the wall, right where the crack was, lengthening it just a tad. 

On the couch, Jaebeom was still laughing. His eyes were almost closed and his teeth on full display from the laughter that wracked through his whole body. Jinyoung was caught off guard,  _ it’s been a while _ , he realized, since Jaebeom laughed like this. Between the stress of a canceled comeback and being the leader for the new group, Jinyoung could count on one hand in the past two years that his partner had laughed so wholeheartedly. His chewing slowed as he watched, almost in a daze, how Jaebeom interacted with the other members, with a gentleness that was previously only reserved for him. He saw how Jaebeom pulled Yugyeom up, annoyed but fond, and scolded Bambam, with more exasperation than irritation. The last straw came later that night, Jaebeom said goodnight to him before walking in the same room with Youngjae, leaving Jinyoung alone in the hallway and staring at the closed door. He realized, at that moment, that Jaebeom was no longer only his. He bit his wobbling lip and walked quickly into his own cramped room, alone. The next night, he found a Simpson doll on his bed with an attached note: “Sorry I can’t be only your hyung anymore, I need to take care of others too :( But this doll will watch over you when I can’t and it’ll be our secret”. The 20 year old Jinyoung had a face of disgust, like a grown man would use something as shameful as a stuffed animal, but something warm and sweet bloomed inside his chest. That night, the Simpson doll was secured in his arms as he slept. 

“Did you know, Jaebeom?” Back in the present, Jinyoung laughed. “Back then, the Simpsons doll was everything to me, even though it was you who liked Simpsons. I would talk to it at night if I couldn’t sleep. I would bring it to my acting sets, and if it was too late to call you, I would ask it, ‘How are you? How have you been? Did you eat yet?’” Jaebeom stayed silent, as if he knew that Jinyoung did not want a reply, just an audience right now. “But the thing I said the most to the doll was, ‘I missed you’.” 

When various members moved out of the dorm, Jinyoung had a wild but desperate hope that Jaebeom would stay, just for him, like the old days. Even when Jaebeom announced that he found a place for him and his cats, Jinyoung didn’t give up. Maybe Jaebeom was only saying it so the rest of them will also move out and then he’ll come back, he thought. All his hopes were dashed when Jaebeom came into the living room one day with boxes. 

“Will you help me pack my books?” He had asked with a sunny smile, before launching into a speech about how spacious and sunny his new apartment will be for his cats. 

Jinyoung had stared at him in disbelief before numbly taking a box from him and loading it with his books. He didn’t even read the title of the books before dumping it into the box. At this point, even they don’t remember who bought which book; they always read each other’s anyways. When they were done, he could see a little bit of sadness falling from Jaebeom’s eyes, but as quickly as it came, it was gone. Just before Jaebeom stepped out the door to their dorms for the last time, he quickly pulled Jinyoung in for a hug and ruffled his hair, as if to reassure only his maknae that he was still there even if he was moving out. But just like that, Jinyoung was alone once more. As he stared at the half empty bookshelf, he felt the hope locking up in his throat, choking him. In a sudden surge of emotion, he picked up the closest thing he could get his hands on, which turned out to be a hardcover of a book that Jaebeom got him for his birthday, and threw it at the wall. The cover ripped and looking at the jagged edges of the book, Jinyoung broke out of his haze. How could he destroy something that Jaebeom gave to him? He carefully taped it back together with the precision and concentration of a surgeon before gently putting it back onto the bookshelf, not noticing that the crack on the wall was becoming that much bigger. 

The next year where Jinyoung stayed in the dorms was hell. The dorm was blissfully quiet, perfect for reading or songwriting, he realized he couldn’t concentrate without the occasional meows from Nora outside his door or Jaebeom’s soft baby voice as he talked to his cats. Mark would sometimes find him staring blankly at the half empty bookshelf, trying to conjure up an image of what it was like when Jaebeom’s books were still here, when Jaebeom was still here. Yet, every look he took just reminded him that Jaebeom would never call him again after work, telling him “I’m coming home”. 

The last time the crack grew, was now. When his manager got the call from Jaebeom’s phone, Jinyoung was invested in his role, trying to portray a doting boyfriend by imagining the girl across from him as truly someone he loved. He could almost swear he saw twin moles on the eyelids of the actress, but it was gone as soon as he blinked. After the scene, Jinyoung’s manager had rushed up to him, with darting eyes and a twisted mouth. 

“Jaebeom-” The manager only got those two syllables out of his mouth before Jinyoung darted out of the set, not even bothering to throw on a coat. He knew, as he ran through the spring rain, something was wrong. Him and Jaebeom had always joked about being soulmates, and oftentimes it was only that, a joke. But this time, he couldn’t ignore the gnawing in his stomach as a signal from Jaebeom. Something was terribly, horribly wrong, and he knew it. Cold wind blew through his drenched hair, making him shiver and reminding him to collect his thoughts if he ever wanted to reach Jaebeom in a timely manner. 

An hour later, Jaebeom’s parents had pushed a ceramic container into his arms, along with a letter. Jinyoung stared at the shiny container, noises cutting in and out in his brain. He vaguely heard Jaebeom’s mom's sobbing voice asking if he would bring it back. Nodding dazedly, he let his feet carry him out the door. Soon, he arrived in front of the door of their old dorm. The door was locked, but Jinyoung pulled a paperclip from his pocket and picked the door open. 

“Did you know, Jaebeom-hyung, I’m no longer your precious maknae,” He laughed hollowly. “I have learned so many things, done so many things, that you wouldn’t approve of.” He pushed the door open and walked into the living room. “I guess it doesn’t anymore.” 

The bookshelf was still there, standing but dusty and empty. Jinyoung sat down in front of it and stared intently at it, like he had done so many times when Jaebeom first left. He clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palm to try to remind himself that this is reality. The crinkling of paper broke his haze and he suddenly remembered the letter that Jaebeom’s mom had given him. He quickly smoothed it out on the floor and read the familiar scrawl of handwriting that he had known for twelve years. 

_ “Hey my Jinyoungie, _

_ You can’t believe how many times restarted this letter because I’m not sure how to say this. But I just want to make it clear, it’s no one’s fault that no one told you. I knew this film was important to you and the awards you can get from this project are insane, so I told everyone to keep it from you. If you knew, you wouldn't hesitate to give up the role and stay with me in the hospital. That’s no way for a healthy twenty something year old to spend the best months in his life.  _

_ Did you know, Jinyoungie, that I never forgot your promise to me when you were just sixteen. You said we would go through this together, like men. And we did. Everytime I thought of giving up, everytime I wanted to put down the mic, everytime I wanted nothing more but to take off the costumes, I thought of you. You said that you only got this far because of me, but it was you, who helped me endure and come this far. The thought of you saying that my song was your favorite, the thought of your soft smile outside the recording studio, waiting for me in the cold night air, got me through many dark nights. Ever since we met when we were sixteen, we had never been apart for more than three weeks until now. And even in those three weeks, we would call each other and say “I’m coming home” even if there was only one of us in the dorms. Jinyoung, I miss the smile in your voice when you said it. Those times, I would rush everything I was doing, just so I could go home, because I was coming home for you. It’s been awhile since I heard it. Say it one last time for me when you see me, will you? _

_ You’ve grown, my maknae. Sometimes I blame myself for not being able to protect you more from the harsh industry. Was I not good enough of a leader that you had to depend on yourself to get acting roles? Why wasn’t I able to protect your childish side? Why did you have to become a hyung so quick? It’s a bittersweet journey, but I am proud of you, more than I could ever say or express to you, and if that is the only thing you’ll remember of me, it is enough. _

_ Don’t blame yourself for this either; I just know you will. The days ahead will feel like a long tunnel but know that everything has an end. I am sorry I am not there to shoulder the hurt like a leader and a hyung should, but just know at the end of your tunnel, when you just start to see the light, I’ll be there waiting with a smile. After all, JJ Project is forever. I love you.  _

_ Yours, _

_ Jaebeom.” _

Jinyoung started shaking at the last words. Hot tears rolled down his face and onto the paper, plotting out a graph of his emotions. Grabbing onto the urn, he turned it so the reflective photo of Jaebeom smiling on the front was facing him. 

“Why?” He croaked in a teary voice. “Why would you keep it from me?” He violently shook the urn until the lid rattled dangerously. “Why? Why? Why?” 

“Stop it,” Mark’s deep voice cut through his hysterical questioning, “You’re going to break it like that.”

Not caring when and how he got here Jinyoung released the urn into Mark’s hands and instead clamped on to his shoulders and looked frantically into his eyes. “This can’t be real, Mark. He would never not tell me. And you would never not tell me, right?” 

Mark’s silence was deafening. 

“No, no, no, no,” Jinyoung muttered to himself. “This isn’t real.”

“Jinyoung,” Mark started with difficulty, “It is. He’s right here.” He pointed to the urn.

“No,” Jinyoung suddenly looked up with a feverish look in his eyes. “This is proof that this isn’t real. Jaebeom-hyung promised me that we would be tombstone mates. How can we be tombstone mates if he’s, if he’s,” He couldn’t continue his sentence but he looked confidently at Mark, as if it was all the evidence that he needed. 

“He decided to do this because he said he wanted you to find a good girl to marry to take care of you and be her tombstone mate instead,” Mark said softly. 

“No, no, no,” Jinyoung repeated the word like it was a mantra. “It can’t be. It was always Jaebeom and me. JJP is forever. I am his soulmate, I am his tombstone mate. He can’t do this.” He broke down into a sob in Mark’s arms. 

Leaning into Mark, he was grateful for the support and warmth, but the hug was not what he craved. Mark was too slender, his chest too thin, his shoulders too narrow, and his frame too short for what Jinyoung wanted. In Jaebeom’s arms, Jinyoung always felt secured and safe. Now, he only feels pity.  _ I’ll never feel that again _ , Jinyoung realized. Through his tears, he spotted a photo frame tucked underneath the sofa. Still hiccuping from his tears, he broke free from Mark and grabbed the photo. He must’ve forgotten it when he moved out, but it was a photo of him and Jaebeom during one and only JJ Project comeback. It was of them backstage, still mic’ed up and with a full face of makeup, but they looked happy, just elated to be around each other. The laughter in his own eyes in the photo was too much for him. In a sudden burst of strength, he threw the frame at a corner of the living room, right of the crack in the wall that was created when JJ Project was created. Now, it stood, even as JJ Project ended. 

The frame shattered upon impact and Jaebeom’s smiling face was glaringly out of place underneath the broken glass. 

“Jinyoung, don’t-” Mark, still stunned from his outburst, was too slow to stop Jinyoung who had lunged forward for the picture. 

“I’m so sorry,” He muttered to Jaebeom as he brushed the sharp glass aside with his bare hands. “I’m sorry Jaebeom-hyung, I shouldn’t have thrown it. Will you forgive me? Will you forgive me?” 

He picked up the photo, painting streaks of blood on the edges from the cuts on his fingers. “I won’t make you mad or sad anymore. Will you come back? I’ll be the best member, I won’t complain. I will call you everyday to say I’m coming home. Didn’t you miss that? Do you hear me Jaebeom-hyung? I am coming home.” 

Jinyoung sat back, the glass crunching underneath his weight, and rocked himself back and forth with the photo over his heart. “Do you hear me? I said I am coming home. I am coming home, Jaebeom-hyung.”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> lol so it got wAY darker than i thought it was going to be... i feel like my first fandom in any fandom is always really sad idk why anyways. Yes I am on stan twt too much. If my mutuals find this pls ignore it but i doubt anyone will guess who i am L O L (if u do guess who I am you get to choose the prompt for the next fic)
> 
> and did you guys find all the different lyrics of Coming Home in it?? hehe 
> 
> link below for the translation I used  
> https://lyricstranslate.com/en/coming-home-coming-home.html-2
> 
> anyways yes i know the timeline doesn't make sense and it doens't make sense if they were truly together or not it's up to you guys to decide :) bc i'm lazy
> 
> yell at me on [twt](https://twitter.com/jiababue)


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